Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Bolivia Is Not Mexico

This post is part of a continuing series about the School of Christ in Cochabamba, Bolivia. All posts will be tagged "Bolivia." Read all Bolivia posts here.

Many of my friends and family have asked me, "So how was the food [in Bolivia]?" To be honest, the answer is kind of complicated. Bolivian food is not particularly my fave, but it was okay. As my teammate DeAndrea would say, Here's the thing: Bolivian food is not Mexican food. Further, Bolivian culture is not Mexican culture. Throughout the 21-day school, I kept having to wake up to this reality.

I'm not sure if it was the same for others on the American team, but most of my cultural references to "Hispanic" or "Latino" culture* are Mexican. In the United States, Mexican culture, food and language are interwoven into mainstream American life--probably most likely because a huge chunk of the contiguous U.S. used to be Mexico (please see: Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, 1848). I mean, the average American probably has at least some baseline knowledge of some distinctly Mexican/Mexican-American cultural markers: pinatas, burritos, tacos, Cinco de Mayo (which is actually not really celebrated in Mexico, ironically enough), the word ándale**, etc. It's just part of the North American experience. I would say that Americans probably know Mexican culture better than any of the "Hispanic" cultures simply because of history and proximity.

Furthermore, for me personally, I am more familiar with Mexican culture just because Mexico is the only Spanish-speaking country I've ever lived in prior to going to Bolivia this summer. I lived in Mexico for 10 weeks in 2010, and then for six months from 2014-2015. Living in Mexico, I was able to observe the way of life, the daily rhythms/customs, and pick-up on the subtler cultural mores (e.g. communication style, social etiquette). I don't purport to really know fully the Mexican culture (which again, is not necessarily definable in monolithic, generalized terms) BUT it is the "Hispanic" culture with which I'm most familiar.

All this to say, it was, at times, disorienting to be in Bolivia because I kept expecting things to to be, well, Mexican. Comforting things that I got used to in Mexico just aren't the Bolivian way of doing things. They were small, but notable. For example, in Mexico, the common greeting each morning is buenos días, and is said to pretty much every individual you come across. In Bolivia, the greeting of choice is decidedly buen día. So I started saying that instead. Bolivia is not Mexico.

Or there are just some Mexican words that don't make sense in Bolivia. For example, the idiomatic phrase of "having a cough" is traer tos in Mexico. However, when I used this expression in Bolivia, I was met with blank stares. So I literally just had to say, Are you sick? in Spanish, after a few unsuccessful attempts of just repeating the same Mexican idiom. Or another common word used in Mexico is platicar which means to chat, shoot the breeze, etc. I guess that word isn't a thing in Bolivia, either. Bolivia is not Mexico.

Also, the food. There are so many things I appreciate and love about Mexican food. In Mexico it's common to have beans and eggs with tortillas for breakfast. While we were in the school we didn't once eat tortillas! Or another favorite breakfast of mine is tamales with canela (a kind of tea made with cinnamon sticks and sugar), again, both things which are not Bolivian. It was so hard to switch gears and realize that I wasn't going to be eating Mexican food in Bolivia! Mexican food, which is so ubiquitous in North America, is probably easily much more foreign to Bolivians than American food! Bolivia is not Mexico.

While we were in the school we had few traditional Bolivian dishes: pique macho, sopa de maní and majadito.
Pique Macho
Sopa de Mani
Majadito
Pique macho is a somewhat perplexing mix of protein, carbs, veggies and condiments. It's got it all: chopped beef, boiled eggs, some hot dog, fries, tomato slices, onion, (spicy) green pepper, mayo, mustard and ketchup. A truly unique dish. Sopa de maní, or "peanut soup," is also a very particular dish with a beef broth and ground peanuts, along with potatoes, peas, oregano and basil. It's quite distinct. Majadito is probably my favorite of the three, with well-seasoned fried eggs, fried plantains, rice and a salad of onion and tomato. In general I wasn't necessarily over the moon about Bolivian cuisine. Maybe it was because these dishes bear little to no resemblance to the Mexican dishes I am accustomed to and have grown to love. Bolivia is not Mexico.

I think the most disorienting thing about Bolivia was how similar it was to Mexico in some ways (which at first caused me to rely on my Mexican cultural heuristics) but then would totally catch me off guard by being, well, so decidedly and distinctly Bolivian. I don't know why I was so surprised. New information alert! my brain would signal to me.

For example, Bolivia is very similar to Mexico in its orientation to time (fluid rather than rigid), generosity (i.e. Don't tell a Bolivian you like anything of theirs otherwise they will literally give it to you), importance of the family, traditional gender roles (machismo) and mix of indigenous and Spanish culture (mestizaje). Yet there is an undeniably marked distinction between the two countries. Bolivia is not Mexico!

While at the school, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was going to encounter some Bolivian cultural markers that I was just not familiar with. The cultural things I learned while living in Mexico could only take me so far, and then I just had to "figure out" some new things, some new Bolivian things. It was a humbling experience. Learning about and adapting to a new culture can be an uncomfortable experience--sometimes it feels like trying to find my way around in the dark with groping hands--but I am grateful for the challenge it presented. It kept me on my toes and reliant on God rather than coasting on my prior knowledge and experiences.

Bolivia is not Mexico. And that's a good thing.

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*I acknowledge first of all that it's problematic to lump all Spanish-speaking nations together like this, but that's a whole other story. 

**I'm not saying that any of these things sum up or define what it is to be Mexican/Mexican-American, but these kinds of "stereotypically" Mexican things are arguably embedded in the American psyche notwithstanding.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Thankful

One of the perks (among many) of being a young person is having a continual sense of how transitory and fleeting everything is. Like, not in a morbid or Buddhist sense per se but in a grateful way. It's hit me lately that the things I enjoy today, I may not be enjoying five years from now.

For example, my parents and I hosted an Oscars viewing party on Sunday evening and invited my grandparents and my uncle and aunt over. We've done a lot of things like this over the years--had people over to watch football games or other random crap. Nevertheless, I was very thankful for the gathering, just because I don't know how much longer my grandparents will be able to travel, or how much longer I'll be living at home with my parents. I made a huge pot of chili with brown rice and my favorite braised collard greens recipe. My aunt brought over spaghetti with multigrain noodles. My grandparents brought delicious fried chicken from Skyway. It's the same thing we've done time and again and yet I was very grateful for it.

Or I was thinking about how special it was to get together with my close girl friends the day after Valentine's Day and share dinner together. I think about my mom and how her (formerly) close friends have husbands and kids now, and it's much more difficult to get together. Just the fact that my friends can come over and we can play jenga and laugh at our own unfunny jokes and binge-eat chocolate... I'm just really glad that (for now) we can still do that. It's actually incredible that we're still in the same geographic region (again, for now).

Or even last Friday taking light rail from work and getting picked up at the station by my grandpa (like last year when I used to live with him and grandma) and eating piroshkis with them for dinner while watching the six o'clock news.

Or walking to work with my mom at 7:30 in the morning while it's cold and windy, but her hugging me and wishing me a good day--I mean, isn't that sweet?

Or meeting up with my Christian friends for coffee and knowing deep down that they care about what's going on in my life and the things that I think and stuff?

These fleeting moments of togetherness with the people dear to me--I've really been taking them to heart lately. I don't know where I'll be two years from now; I don't even know where I'll be one year from now! All the same, though, life is good.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you, God. Thank you, Lord.
-my standard before-dinner prayer

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Self-Hatred

Every time I have tried to write about this I get too afraid and I quit before I even begin. I think it's because I feel that I haven't "arrived" at a "good place" regarding self-hatred, but I've decided I'm never really going to ever "arrive," so I may as well just write about it. Warning: This may get dark.

Since a young age I've always had a deep-seated fear of not being good enough. Okay--before you protest with April, don't be so hard on yourself; what are you talking about; you're so good at _____, etc. let me explain. I'm not fishing for compliments by being self-deprecating. I know that my fear of inadequacy is dramatic, and I know that it's irrational. Knowing it's irrational doesn't make it any less real or powerful.

The way I've coped with this nagging fear that deep-down I'm a useless deadbeat is by trying to be perfect, by pushing myself. So I try to excel and most of all, try to be competent. Capable. This is unrestricted and applies to all domains of life: academically, professionally, physically(!), relationally and spiritually. No matter how "good" I am at any certain area, I can always be better. It's exhausting to demand so much of myself and all it does is feed my need to be "adequate," whatever that means.

A couple of weeks ago I came face-to-face with my self-hatred and it was terrifying. I had a moment of realization that the Charles Bingley/Jane Bennet relationship I'd mentioned in an earlier post--yah, that whole thing was more just a one-sided unrequited interest on my part. FOOM--what little self-confidence I had imploded completely. HE DOESN'T LIKE ME! my inner voice wailed, as I spiraled down into the depths of the it's confirmed--I'm no good inaccuracy-chasm. Frankly, I was heartbroken, and beating myself up even more for even liking a guy in the first place (setting myself up to get hurt). It was just an awful week. It was like all of the dormant negative self-talk within decided to ignite and I'm, like, surprised I wasn't consumed by the fire? (God, am I writing horribly on purpose? Whatever. That's more negative self-talk right there.)

But my mini-crisis had less to do with this boy than it did with my own toxic thinking. I think cuz I'm so afraid of not being good enough, I have this sick, slanted view where I try and confirm that fear. Like, when I get rejected (romantically or otherwise) I think to myself, "Oh, yah, I guess I should have seen that coming. Not. good. enough." Things that would appeal to my vanity (like getting offered the permanent position at work or being complimented on the way I look), I try and downplay, like excelling in whatever is just to be expected, like NBD, why all this hoopla; I didn't even do that much to deserve it?

Wow, it's cathartic to write down all these dysfunctional thought patterns. I mean, I recognize them as they're happening, but it's just such a habit to be down on myself and accusing myself that it's a huge effort to fight against it.

Last week was extremely alarming because the way I decided to cope with not being liked back by this guy, or whatever, was to be all anorexic. What the heck? I was hating myself so much, I was just like exercising as penance for being such an unlikeable person and ate, like, a bite of my lunch and threw the rest away. Like, my brain was so twisted and messed up that it actually made me want to gag when I put food in my mouth. As a friend aptly put it, You don't deserve that (the food you're about to eat). I was internalizing the stress by punishing myself. Ah, what the heck, brain, why are you so sick???

Thankfully, after some prayer and good conversations with close friends and family, I've mellowed-out quite a bit. I'm eating three full meals a day, and not feeling horrible about myself. It was an eye-opening, albeit hollowing (and "hallowing," I suppose?) experience to realize how much I hate myself. I know, it sounds super bizarre, but I'm all for self-reflection and self-awareness, so this was fascinating in a masochistic way.

It would take a whole nother post to unpack how self-hatred interacts with Christianity. Maybe I'll get to that someday. Or maybe I'll just watch TV with Rachel and eat chocolate and do my nails. You know how it goes.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Grilled Honey-Mustard Chicken with Arugula and Plum Salad


Fresh and perfect for summer! I was really pleasantly surprised with this recipe. To make it I used a square grill pan (11"x11"), a wonderful gift from my cousin for graduation. Thanks to the pan, the skin of the chicken was delicious and crispy and the dark meat of the chicken preserved moisture and flavor.

Grilled Honey-Mustard Chicken with Arugula and Plum Salad
-3 Tbsp honey (I used Safeway's organic stuff imported from Brazil *eyeroll*)
-2 Tbsp Dijon mustard (used Beaver Brand Sweet Hot Mustard)
-1 Tbsp chopped fresh thyme (Safeway organic again)
-4 Tbsp olive oil, divided
-8 bone-in, skin-in chicken thighs (got a 12-pack and froze the remainders)
-Kosher salt and black pepper
-2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
-2 bunches arugula (I just bought Safeway's washed & ready stuff)
-2 plums, pitted and thinly sliced (one plum was enough for three people)

  1. In a small bowl, whisk together the honey, mustard, thyme and 1 Tbsp of the oil
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Heat grill pan to medium high heat. Season the chicken with salt and pepper. 
  3. Sear the chicken thighs in the pan ~7 minutes per side (skin should be properly browned). Place pan into the oven and bake for ~20 minutes, flipping the chicken midway through.
  4. Bake the chicken five minutes more after brushing the honey mixture onto the skin. 
  5. Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, whisk together the vinegar, the remaining 3 Tbsp of oil and 1/4 t each of salt and pepper. Toss with the arugula and arrange with plums on top. Serve with chicken.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

"Maladaptive" Coping Mechanisms

What exactly constitutes a "maladaptive" coping behavior?

I've been mulling over this question a lot lately. With little to no structure to my life as of late, I've been very cognizant of how I spend my free time. It's gotten me to think about how a lot of what I do with my free time is a way to "deal" or cope with life.

The world is harsh. It's brutal. I mean, duh. We live in ambiguity because life is a mix of seemingly senseless and overwhelming tragedy as well as larger than life happiness that we share with others. How does one manage to stay away from becoming a "Pollyanna" (denying anything "wrong" with the world) on one hand, while at the same time not become an Eeyore (everything is bad, so why ever expect it to be good? P.S. I suck). So anyway, people have various ways of "dealing"/staying sane. 

The traditional conception of "acceptable" ways to deal are usually graphically represented in a multi-colored triangle or Venn diagram. Maintaining your sanity is "simply" a manner of attending to all of the different dimensions of yourself: your emotional self, your spiritual self, your physical self, your social self, your psychological self--and on and on and on. 

I decided that after graduation, as a way to practice "self-care," that I was going to try and avoid exposing myself to so much trauma through one-on-one work with trauma survivors, etc. However, it seems that trauma/suffering is just, like, EVERYWHERE (our neighbors six houses down the street just got robbed in broad daylight for crying out loud). I've learned that running away from human suffering just isn't the answer. YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

So anyway, here are some of the ways that I try and "deal" with the tragedy of human existence:
  1. SITCOM MEDIA/EASY ANSWERS LANE/HAPPY ENDINGS HAPPYCLOUDLAND: Any movie, TV show or book with an oversimplified, overwrought, contrived plot with a happy ending--I'm sold. Why settle for the unpredictability and messiness of real life when you can enjoy a formula of (1) trivial "conflict" that ends in a (2) "life lesson" all for the price of 25 minutes! My favorite sitcoms lately have been Community and Parks and Recreation. Movie of choice? I Hate Luv Storys. Who wouldn't love a goofy opposites-attract movie where poor people don't exist and everyone is young and beautiful?
  2. SUBSTANCE USE: Okay, so far I haven't acted on my inclinations, but  the world is just so sad and messed up that I get these sudden urges to binge-drink alcohol. I now begin to understand why chemical dependency is so prevalent in society. Life is so intense sometimes that NOT feeling anymore sounds veeerrrrry appealing. I'll take anything to not feel overwhelmed anymore. Tell me if I'm wrong.
  3. FOOD: I have literally caught myself having feelings of anxiety, going to the kitchen and eating a cookie/muffin and then experiencing the anxiety dissipate, if but for a short period of time. Food comforts me, so binge eating is a way to try and maximize that comforting feeling...that is, until I'm bloated and disgusted with myself. Lawl.
  4. VOYEURISM/WASTING AWAY ON THE INTERNET: Life is much simpler if you leave it to actors and celebrities to live it for you. HAH! Rather than actually talk with my family, we'll watch a movie about a fictional family and call it a day. I hate when people say "It's so ironic," BUT IN THIS CASE IT IS! #meta Also, I'm sometimes given to uncontrollable bouts of surfing Wikipedia, reading the most random personal details about actors, actresses and musicians. Then I walk away from the computer three hours later in a daze, feeling ashamed like I've just eaten five bags of Doritos. 
  5. TRANSCENDENT SPIRITUAL TRUTHS/PRAYER: It's a lot easier to "deal" when I can rely on the fact that although people are LITERALLY getting away with MURDER every single day, that ultimately there will be a "final judgment" where Jesus will cast those no good S.o.B.'s that prey on vulnerable women and children into the FIRES OF HELL. Muahahahahahaha! "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:19). There's also this idea of "Well, God knows what he's doing" sooo...Why blame him for everything? Blahblahblah, free will vs. grace/Why do bad things happen to good people/I AM STILL GRAPPLING WITH THIS O.K., PPL?!
Okay, so obviously, this list is not exhaustive. However, it really makes me wonder, what sorts of coping behaviors are "acceptable"/"permissible" and which are considered "maladaptive?" The trendy phrase these days seems to be "Everything in moderation." Add that to a layer of post-modernist relativism and you get the conclusion that each person alone knows which coping behaviors are maladaptive for them and at what magnitude they become maladaptive

HAHAHA, wow, so basically we've learned nothing.

But back to talking about me (I love the self-indulgent nature of blogs!). I definitely am aware of my actions. I have an intuitive sense of when I've "gone too far" and am using a specific coping behavior as a means to escape/avoid my current feelings or the "reality of the world" or whatever. But now I'm thinking, is it even desirable to be always "on," to be always "present" and feeling 100% and aware and sensitive and self-reflective? I mean, that just sounds tiring to me.

This past year one thing I've committed to is the notion of "Be gentle on yourself." You know, don't expect so much from yourself.. don't be super hard on yourself. .don't exigir a level of productivity that's simply beyond your own capacity..

My tentative conclusion on the matter is this: I will allow myself to escape every once in awhile through  TV, through food, through humor.. but ultimately these moments of escapism are a temporary diversion from grappling with and struggling with and seeking to understand the greater matters of life. All of these nagging questions, they're going to haunt me relentlessly until I air them, talk about them with trusted family and friends, pray about them, gain more experience with them--and I really am a firm believer in this process...the stages of conflict, disbelief, struggle, confusion, despair...because I believe that ultimately I will arrive somewhere. My understanding may not be complete, but it will be deeper. I'll be able to handle the complexity and subtlety with a defter hand. 

The product of SEEKING THE TRUTH is gaining the tools to navigate the very ambiguity you try to avoid.

¿Me explico?

Monday, April 09, 2012

FARTLESS CHILI

HEY PEOPLE, I just discovered something AMAZING. If you're making chili and want to enjoy your food without the flatulence, here is a little-known secret that actually WORKS (tested & approved last Friday).

  1. Bring a large pot of water to boil on the stove. Turn off the burner.
  2. Add the dried beans (kidney, pinto, whatever!) to the pot.
  3. Soak overnight.
  4. Drain beans, add enough water to cover them and cook simmering on low for 50 minutes, as usual.
  5. Add your cooked beans to the meaty chili mixture (I usually have it already going in a crock pot for a few hours)
  6. ENJOY THE BEANS GUILT-FREE. You are in for a fartless night.

For reals, people, this has changed my life.

;)

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