Monday, December 17, 2018

winter break, here i come!!

I'm officially finished with fall semester! This means I'm halfway through this graduate program(!). I am leaving Providence today and won't be back until late March 2019. I am sad to leave, as I have really come to enjoy life here.
Photo taken minutes prior to hugging my friends goodbye and crying.

Things I've loved


  • The level of intellectual challenge at graduate school has been quite enjoyable. I moved out East to learn more about quantitative analysis and methods, and this semester has been full of python for data science, data visualization in Stata, and conceptual learning of ordinary least squares regression, difference-in-differences, regression discontinuity, instrumental variables and machine learning (just had a lunch and learn on random forests and boosting). The best part has been learning concepts and immediately being able to apply them at work. Though I'm by no means a data science engineer, I can follow discussions about stratified randomization and bootstrapping, and all this stuff is less intimidating than used to be. 
  • I won't lie; the amenities abound at a private university and they are nice. Sit/stand desks at the library? Free digital subscription to the Wall Street Journal? Keurigs in every kitchenette? Keypad lockers? Blackout shades in conference rooms? "Is this what it's like to be rich?" I've remarked multiple times to my classmates. 
James Forman, Jr. and Tom Perez had me so inspired!!
  • I have also loved being able to hear from (and sometimes even meet) passionate and thoughtful leaders. After hearing from James Forman Jr. I was like, "Do I want to work in public defense now?" After meeting Tom Perez I was like, "Do I want to work for the DNC now??" After hearing from John Kerry, Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden I was like, "Do I want to staff an elected now???" Their love of the work and the people they're advocating for really encouraged me. They're living examples of the marriage of intellect and mission, which is what I am all about.
 



 

  • But of course, my favorite part of graduate school has been spending time with my friends. We go to class together, study together, share meals together, celebrate birthdays together..  My friends are kind, smart, socially conscious, fun (and funny). I would not have made it in this program without them keeping me sane and reminding me of the bigger picture. I miss them so much in my heart already!!
I'm so excited to head into winter break. I'll be celebrating Christmas in Seattle, New Year's in the East Bay (finally get to see my nieces and nephews!!), then it's off to Houston, Texas, for my January through March consultancy. I'll be a visiting scholar at the Kinder Institute for Urban Research at Rice University looking into housing resiliency post-Hurricane Harvey. I can't wait!!

Saturday, October 06, 2018

🍂autumn leaves🍂

Already four and a half weeks into the semester? That can't be right...
Before I left Seattle, someone advised me to "make the most of every opportunity." Thus far, I most certainly have! This fall I am taking four classes: budgeting, program evaluation, global political science and computer programming for data science (python). On top of that, I have a couple of part time jobs: graduate research assistant and "smart" policy analyst. During the first week of school I even got an email with an offer to take on a third job as a grader for an undergraduate course, but I knew I had to respectfully decline. There are only so many hours in a day!

Class 1: Budgeting

I love this class. The instructor is the former Office of Management and Budget Director for the State of Rhode Island. He knows all the ins and outs of putting together multi-billion dollar budgets and getting them approved by the Governor and General Assembly. So far we have had fantastic guest speakers: the Rhode Island Budget Director, the Rhode Island Medicaid Director and the former Rhode Island Senate Finance Committee Chair. The policies, procedures and politics of it all are fascinating.

After we heard from the State Medicaid Director, I turned to my classmates and confessed, "I don't even know why I pretend to flirt with the idea of working at a policy lab or a think tank for a few years; I know I'm  going back to government eventually. I just love it too much!!!" They laughed. Bureaucracy is Beautiful™️.

Class 2: Program Evaluation


This class is my second chance at redemption for all the concepts I did not quite grasp in statistics and economics over the summer. So far it has been a lot of reading empirical journal articles and interpreting regression tables. I really don't mind it, though. I'm learning things! At a work meeting yesterday the boss suggested doing a stratified randomization of assignment into treatment and control groups, and I actually knew what she was talking about.

Class 3: Global Political Science

I took a grand total of one political science course in undergrad, so this class is expanding my mind for sure. We are learning different theories on nation-state building, political processes and governance. It can definitely get abstract and esoteric at times, but I kind of love it. Sometimes it's great to live fully into my egghead truth. I knew I would like this class as soon as the professor started his first lecture by framing "the contours of academics debates on policymaking."

Class 4: Computer Programming for Data Science

One of my goals this year was to learn python, a computer programming language that is useful in a variety of settings. Going in, I knew some front-end coding (HTML and CSS) but python is different. We started out basic ("Hello World!") then worked our way up to creating a tip calculator. Most recently, we wrote a program where a user types in the state they live in and get the names of their two U.S. Senators, plus some info. about them. 



The assignment was frustrating because I kept getting error messages, but once it started running successfully, I was so proud of myself. Look out, world!!

Job 1: Graduate Research Assistant

When I was initially considering whether or not to enroll at Brown, I spoke with current students to ask about faculty and their research. After I told them my interests, they all had the same answer for me: "You should connect with Margaret Weir!" I met with Professor Weir this summer to discuss her latest research on urban political geography and equity impacts. It was a match!

Being a research assistant is great. In undergrad I actually really enjoyed doing literature reviews and annotated bibliographies so setting aside five hours a week to comb over journal articles, budget reports, press releases and legal documents is heavenly. The subject matter is interesting, too. Not everyone enjoys the minutiae of property and sales tax policy at the state and municipal levels but I do!! I love this stuff.

Job 2: "Smart" Policy Analyst

Sometimes public policy requires a little creativity. I'm working on an innovative education initiative, Rhode2College (R2C), a state-wide program that guides low and moderate-income high school students through the steps to apply for and then (hopefully) enroll in college. Eligible high school juniors text "Rhody," an AI chatbot, who gives them a "milestone" to complete each month (SAT prep, college search, FAFSA filing). When they finish a milestone, students get a digital gift card and some money for a college savings account. Over two years they can earn up to $2,000!

This is an exciting public-private partnership between the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative, College Board, the Rhode Island Department of Education, the Rhode Island Governor's Office and Research Improving People's Lives (the Brown-affiliated policy lab I work for). Last week I was able to visit some high schools and meet students ("Rhode2College Scholars"). It was touching to see how much just being selected for the program seemed to boost their self-confidence. I hope R2C will have a positive impact on their lives.

Extracurriculars

Of course, I've made time to have some "fun" too!
  • I went with friends to the homecoming football game. Brown lost by a sizable margin but the marching band halftime performance was very cute.
  • Kristen came to visit!! It was so nice to see her and catch up while showing her my favorite Providence foodie finds (PVDonuts, Den DenLike No Udder). I felt a little less homesick after seeing her.
  • We celebrated David's birthday and his first poetry slam performance. I love my family!! (Not pictured: pizza and Black Panther night at Jill's).
  • I met Chris Hayes and DeRay McKesson in the span of a week! Hearing from both of them inspired me and strengthened my determination to "stay the course." (Not pictured: an elevator conversation with U.S. Senator Sheldon Whitehouse.) Is this real life?? I'm starstruck by all these thought leaders. Yes, I am a nerd. And I am living my dream!!
In conclusion, I am really enjoying myself out here! I'm grateful. I know this is a special time in my life. Like Mary, I'm treasuring it all up in my heart.

Thank you to everyone back home who has written through Snapchat, text, email, postcard and letter. My bedroom wall is a mosaic of correspondence. I do miss Seattle and look forward to visiting in December.

Love and hugs,



April

Tuesday, September 04, 2018

reflections on south africa


South Africa was fantastic. I was in Johannesburg for 10 days for a school trip and found it incredibly inspiring. It's so difficult to try and succinctly communicate what it was like but I will give it a try.

Highlight 1: Soweto


We visited Soweto, a former township where the government forcibly relocated Black South Africans during apartheid (SoWeTo=South West Township). A neighborhood in Soweto, Kliptown, still experiences tremendous challenge in education and employment outcomes. Kliptown Youth Program (KYP),  is a locally led and managed non-profit that works directly with 450 youth to increase access to technology and higher learning. Thando Bezana, Operations Manager, explained that the executive leadership team is composed of Kliptown community members (including himself). Teachers are locals, too. Some studied computer science on KYP scholarships then returned to teach computer classes twice daily. KYP graduates who have moved to other neighborhoods contribute to a KYP alumni fund. KYP really has mastered the art of investing in and developing local talent. The "for us by us" (FUBU) nature of the entire program was such a joy to witness.

Highlight 2: Landfill site visit


We also had the privilege of hearing from a couple of federal employees working in the Department of Environmental Affairs. They explained on a high level how South Africa is tackling solid waste management, mainly by prioritizing diverting waste from landfills. We then got to visit a landfill site, one of the largest in the region. The landfill must have been at least 30 stories high and receives 2,500 tons of waste a day. The site manager explained that waste is dumped at the landfill, individuals remove as many recyclables as possible (plastics and glass), the trash is compacted, and then covered with crushed concrete waste. We rode all the way to the top of the landfill and at one point there was just trash and seagulls as far as the eye could see. It was incredible. The federal employees, who joined us on the site visit, were so excited to be out in the field (normally they are either in their offices or consulting at other local government offices) that they hopped out and started chatting with the onsite employees. It's quite an operation! And the methane from the landfill is used for public energy. Truly, nothing is wasted!

Highlight 3: Meeting bureaucrats


There's nothing quite like being able to meet career civil servants. Their passion for good governance is contagious. Joel Netshitenzhe, former Communications Director for Nelson Mandela, presented on the Reconstruction and Development Programme (RDP), a major economic policy developed by the African National Congress (ANC). He was refreshingly honest about the different delays, complications and failures of the policy, while at the same time acknowledging the ways in which the RDP was successful. My favorite part of his presentation, though, was when I asked him what it was like to work in the Mandela administration and he waxed nostalgic on Mandela's uncanny ability to sense the mood of the nation, even when it went against conventional wisdom or even his own party. I was completely rapt listening to Netshitenzhe's stories. Mandela was such a singular and gifted leader. I am amazed at the difference one person can make--how one person can inspire so many and leave such a legacy. It's a beautiful thing.

I also loved hearing from Ivan Pillay, former Acting Commissioner of South African Revenue Services (SARS), the equivalent to the IRS. He spoke about the health of government institutions, accountability, change management, strategic planning and organizational effectiveness. He was speaking my language! And so thoughtful and wise. I loved his pragmatism. Bureaucrats are the best. I could have listened to him all day, to be honest.

Highlight 4: Jonas testimony

I joked with folks back home that I witnessed the equivalent of the Comey congressional hearing while in South Africa. It sure felt like it! We got to sit-in on the Commission of Inquiry into State Capture, a public fact-finding entity charged with determining the veracity of allegations of state capture (systematic funneling of public funding into private interests) in the Zuma administration. Chaired by Deputy Chief Justice Zondo of the South African Constitutional Court, the commission, after hearing testimony from involved witnesses and examining evidence, will produce a set of recommendations which may result in legal action by the National Prosecutor’s Office.

The "star witness" of the day was former Deputy Ministry of Finance Mcebisi Jonas. He testified of a meeting on October 23, 2013, where a member of the Gupta family (aligned with Zuma) offered him 600 million rand to assume the role of Minister of Finance and act in the Gupta’s interest. His testimony was extremely compelling, and at one point Jonas paused to wipe tears from his eyes, and I found myself completely moved. The commission is predicted to continue for at least a couple of more years but I am highly interested in seeing what ultimately will come of it.

Highlight 5: Church and baby lions


 

Of course, all this public policy-related stuff was truly mind-nourishing and energizing, but I also managed to have some fun, too! On our day off I met up with Hannah, who is the cousin of my friend Esther. I immediately really liked her! She took me to her church, Heritage Baptist. It was so great to see a South African expression of faith in Jesus. After service we went to lunch with another young woman, Taimi, a surgical resident from Namibia. It was so easy chatting with them and we already had lots in common simply by virtue of being young, single Christian women. I love finding friends all around the world! 

In the evening I met up with Jill and Nya at the Lion & Safari Park in Lanseria, about 50 minutes outside of Johannesburg. On the way out I had a nice chat with my Uber driver from Zimbabwe who also works as a bouncer on the weekend. He had the radio turned onto a R&B station and at one point I turned to him and asked, "SZA?" "Huh?" "This is SZA, right?" "Huh?" "I like this music." He just laughed. He was wearing a New York Yankees cap. Globalization, y'all.

Jill, Nya and I did a night safari to see the spotted hyenas and the lions. We witnessed staff feeding them horse meat and it was visceral to say the least. I won't forget the sound of them cracking bones open to get to the marrow. Makes me squirm just thinking back on it. Afterward we got to play with some very sleepy, cute lion cubs. It was surreal!! The cubs were so young they hadn't even named them yet! Staff usually assign names to the cubs around seven months when their personalities have had time to emerge.

In conclusion

 


In sum, I had an absolutely unforgettable time in South Africa. I had read so much about it in books for school, but there was nothing like being there in person and experiencing it myself.

Stray observations

  1. Nothing in this world could explain my delight when, upon entering local fair trade coffee roaster Bean There, I heard an acoustic version of "Mama" by William Singe, one of my favorite Australian vocalists. I was home. I went there pretty much every morning over the duration of the trip.
  2. When someone asks "How are you?" sometimes folks say "sharp," meaning "well."
  3. The African diaspora is incredible. The "Pan African Writing" section of Exclusive Books featured works by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Ta-Nehisi Coates, LaShonda Katrice Barnett, Teju Cole, Chinua Achebe... I was in heaven. I limited myself to purchasing four books due to luggage space constraints but would have purchased many more. 
  4. I loved pretty much all the food I tried: ostrich steak, lamb stew, oxtail stew, venison stew, "bunny chow". The only thing I wasn't a huge fan of was the tripe. 
  5. As I traveled through South Africa I couldn't help thinking about my Grandpa Don, himself a world traveler during his lifetime. Did he have similar thoughts and reflections as he met new people and learned new things in new places? He taught me so much about being a humble observer when a guest in another country.

Friday, August 03, 2018

in full swing

Since I'm making very minimal progress on a memo I'm supposed to complete by Monday, I might as well take a break and blog. I'm sitting at my neighborhood Dunkin' Donuts having enjoyed a "Watermelon Coolata" on an oppressively hot day. Total grams from sugar? 61.


I'm full swing into "Summer Sequence 2," which is thankfully much more qualitative and less quantitative than the last. I am having a blast in "Communications and Public Policy" which mainly consists of reading journal articles on political science, social policy and governance (domestic and foreign), which we then discuss in class. I'm in heaven. My other course, "Introduction to Public Policy" is more about developing an adequate analytical lens through which to evaluate and recommend policy solutions given different social problems. This, in my opinion, is another winner of a class. This is why I came to grad school: to learn how to make difficult decisions while trying to balance budget constraints, politics, equity and feasibility of implementation. It's certainly still a lot of work but it's ultimately rewarding and fulfilling.

Strengthening weak muscles

Since this Master of Public Affairs program is one calendar year (accelerated), there's considerable pressure to get your sh*t together, and get it together quickly. I need to "pick a lane," so to speak, in the next month or so. There is the more technical, quantitative lane, or the more qualitative, advocacy-oriented lane. I've already established that I'm stronger in the latter and weaker in the former. So should I play to my strengths or risk going out of my comfort zone?


For the past few weeks I have been hitting the gym (at 7am, may I add) with my classmate David. It's the first time I've done any serious weight training since 2015 (shoutout to Andreas!). Consequently getting back into the groove has been a bit of a struggle. I can barely lift five pounds for a triceps drill, curl 20 lbs or squat the bar (45 lb). After every session my muscles riot and are sore for days. I laugh when I hit failure at eight reps. "Believe," I urge myself, laughing, as David looks on and also laughs.

Metaphorically, I think of the left side of my brain like I think of my atrophied muscles struggling to wake up after a long slumber. There's potential there, but I have to exert a considerable amount of will to use them in any sustained capacity. After the first week of statistics and economics I was in full-on panic mode. "I hate this!!" was my frequent inner monologue. By week four, though I was by no means achieving proficiency in any of the presented concepts, I was able to celebrate the accomplishment of surviving the course (see my last post) and appreciate the fact that I learned something (which, all things considered, is better than nothing). So despite the fact that quantitative reasoning doesn't come naturally to me, and despite the fact that I don't particularly enjoy it, I am seriously considering continuing down the left-brained path knowing full well that I will struggle the entire time.

One drawback of being an overachiever is that it's tough for me to not be the top of the class. I remember in elementary school I used to love that when we got our math packets my peers would automatically congregate around me to work through things because they trusted my general competence with the material. If I go down the data-driven policy track, I need to be okay with just being in the middle of the pack or *gasp* at the bottom. I'm considering a fall semester full of technical electives (budgeting, GIS and Python). Is this irrational or inadvisable?

This week the instructor of the Python course held an information session where he summarized a daunting menu of concepts and projects (I started feeling anxious as he advanced through each subsequent Power Point slide). Afterwards I went up to speak with him. "Hi, I'm April, I talked to you on the phone earlier this year about the course." His face lit up in recognition. "Oh yeah! Hi April, so glad you decided to come to Brown." When I expressed my trepidation about the course (I specifically asked what supports were in place for students throughout the semester), Prof. Prasad assured me that there would be two course assistants and that he was more than happy to help students out personally. "We want you to succeed," he assured me.

That statement really stuck with me. In what other situation will I have such a safe environment in which to make mistakes, stumble and fail, knowing someone will be there to help? If I am going to really go out of my depth, I think now is the time to do it.

Other miscellaneous stuff

Apart from all these existential musings, though, I've just been living a regular life and enjoying it immensely:

  • We have had the enormous privilege of hearing from practitioners who are working in local government, private consulting and non-profits. I am so fond of these passionate eggheads. One of them literally said, "There is an event horizon at the singularity," and I had to stifle a laugh. They also bring the heart. Someone in international development today advised, "Listen so deeply that you invite the person you are with to share." That rocked me to my core. "My soul feels hugged right now," I confessed to my classmate Suhaib following that session.
  • It has been really, really hot this week. Not only are temperatures in the mid 80s to low 90s, to add insult to injury, humidity sometimes hovers around 92 percent. Are you kidding me?? "I feel like I could box the air!" David proclaimed to me as we stepped out from the Dunkin' Donuts into the night. I finally caved and purchased a window-mounted air conditioning unit for my room, so it's manageable. Today I entered the living room and cried, "Oh my god! It is so hot out here! Practically tropical!"
  • Visitors!! Sometimes I get a little homesick being out here on the East Coast, so seeing folks from the West Coast makes my heart so happy. I met Marie in college and now she's in the D.C. area. She was able to stop by on her way to Boston with her husband, Jackson. It was lovely to catch up with her (the last time I saw her was in April when doing college tours). And you know we took full advantage and played Pokemon Go together. We caught three Zapdos each and Jackson even got a shiny one!
  • I also had the pleasure of seeing the Shimada family, who also stopped by on their way to Boston. It was so nice to see them!! They brought the chill bay area vibes. We got boba and I honestly felt like I was back in California. Cry!! I gotta get back there ASAP.
  • Speaking of travel, on the 18th I'm headed to Johannesburg, South Africa, for 10 days as part of the MPA program. Our host site is the Public Affairs Research Institute which conducts analyses on government institutions and their (dys)functions. Right up my alley! Moreover South Africa is in a period of tremendous change and transition with the recent ouster of former president and known kleptocrat Jacob Zuma. I'll have access to WiFi so will do my best to provide some brief updates while I'm there. I'm really looking forward to rooming with my classmates Nya and Jill (I requested that one day we all wear our jumpsuits) and getting to know Africa. This will be my first time to the continent! 

Other things I like: A roundup

Movie: Sorry to Bother You (dir. Boots Riley)
Music: All Blue by Jade Novah
Article: "The Business of Being Gwyneth Paltrow" by Taffy Brodesser-Akner
TV: Zumbo's Just Desserts

Until next time!

Sunday, July 15, 2018

making up for lost time

It was a tough four weeks for sure, but I can now share the good news that I survived statistics and economics*! I deserve a t-shirt.


Or, alternatively:


It's been five days since I completed the three-hour final exam and words cannot fully describe how drastically my mood has transformed since then. When under tremendous stress, I tend to become withdrawn and prone to crying because I get discouraged and defeated. After we received our final grades on Tuesday, though, I became a much more pleasant person to be around. I was also able to get out of the bubble of home to campus I'd been living in for the past month.

More adventures in Boston

Connor and I took a selfie on the T because my mom expressly requested one via text.

Wednesday I was so excited to try out the commuter rail that goes from Providence to downtown Boston for the first time. Being from Seattle, which is light on transportation infrastructure, I thought it was absolutely luxurious. I had a booth to myself on the second story and caught up on the Sunday paper in the hour it takes to get to Back Bay.

First stop in Boston? Pressed Juicery on Newbury Street. Close friends know I'm obsessed with the franchise which has a location in downtown Seattle (first floor of Westlake). With a coconut freeze and my favorite beet & ginger juice in hand, I was in my happy place. My cousin Connor thought the vegan freeze (they can't call it "soft serve ice cream" since technically it contains no dairy) was okay but spluttered when trying the juice because it was so aggressively ginger forward (I love the burn).

We then went to the Fenway area where Red Sox fans were in full force for the game against the Texas Rangers that night. Connor showed me one of his favorite places, Blackbird Doughnuts, which had a fantastic upscale artisanal feel and delicious cake doughnuts--maybe the best I've ever had (eat your heart out Top Pot). We then tried out Tiger Mama, a pan-Asian restaurant that was giving me serious Belltown vibes (vertical gardens, neon lights, overpriced cocktails and all!). They played a lot of tracks from The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill which was a definite plus.


It has been so fun to have family nearby! I saw Connor in April when deciding on graduate schools, then in May when I moved here, and this was my last chance to see him before he heads back to Illinois to await the approval of his visa to work in Japan for the next year. I am sure an exciting adventure awaits him there.

It's great to be a tourist

On Friday I went on a road trip with a couple of classmates to Quincy, Dorchester and Boston for dim sum, chè (I miss Bambu) and art! The Museum of Fine Arts was so incredible; I could have spent hours there. I loved reading all the notes about the artists, their intention, technique and the times in which they lived. Creative people are so interesting!! I'm still not a huge fan of abstract art, though.

Obligatory photo at the Museum of Fine Arts. 

Don't trust these heauxs. I asked David to take a picture of me and look what he does smh
On the way to and from RI to MA, David had the playlist "on lock" with rap and R&B hits from the early 2000s to present (we listened to "In My Feelings" by Drake and "I Like It" by Cardi B ft. Bad Bunny and J Balvin multiple times). It feels so foreign to have so much free time and to spend that free time "having fun" but I'm enjoying it for as long as I can!

Classes start up again tomorrow and I will be taking an intro to policy course and a communications course. After such a math-heavy month, I will take memo writing any day!

*Addendum: Coping methods for surviving statistics and economics

  1. Cry: I only cried twice but it helped tremendously.
  2. Write home: Venting to friends and family back home was so comforting and encouraging. They helped me keep everything in perspective.
  3. Find a good study group: I'm so thankful for mine!!
  4. Eat good food: To soothe myself I cooked my favorite foods from growing up (chicken teriyaki, tofu turkey casserole, oyako don, chicken curry) and it was quite effective in temporarily curbing my anxiety.
  5. Try not to compare: My classmates that tended to speak up in class were the ones who had a knack for math or who had taken advanced coursework in statistics and economics. I had to realize they didn't represent the general student body and I had to be okay working on things at my own pace.
  6. Take the "L": When I ran out of time, I sometimes did poorly in quizzes or labs but in the long run those sorts of losses were fine.
  7. Remember that all suffering is temporary.
Until next time!

Thursday, June 21, 2018

the little engine that could

In the past four days I have aged 20 years... -me to my best friend Rachel
One of the curses of taking a semester's worth of graduate-level statistics and economics squeezed into one month is that the sheer volume of material covered is not accompanied by the appropriate amount of time for me to digest and master it. One of the blessings, though, is that I'm already, essentially, halfway through the course. Thank God. Whew.

After the first week of instruction, I was feeling very defeated and discouraged. To add insult to injury, over the weekend we had two problem sets, one for statistics and one for economics, that were driving me up the wall! 


The assignments themselves were pretty interesting and relevant. We were analyzing the change in global public debt following the financial crisis in 2007-2008, the success of universities to provide pathways to economic mobility to low-income students, the accuracy of HIV tests to provide true positives and true negatives, the total cost of hurricanes (damage cost) in the U.S., and the effects of rent control measures and taxes on specific goods. However, multiple times throughout the weekend I became very frustrated as I got "stuck" on parts of certain problems. It was a lot of trial and error trying to get the math right and trying to figure out how to accomplish the things I wanted to through Excel. Excel is still my best frenemy (but thanks for the keyboard shortcuts, Gretchen!). 

But worry not! The purpose of this blog post is not just to complain about my first world problems of "struggling" in my graduate studies at a selective private university. Friday night I had a soul-healing conversation with a friend who is not in the Master of Public Affairs program. Over some delicious Korean fried chicken wings and drumsticks, I told her all about my first week and she was so empathetic. It was nice to sit back, laugh, and talk about feelings rather than numbers!! What a breath of fresh air. Thanks, Ellen!

I'm also incredibly thankful to have found some classmates to work on the problem sets with, even if that meant working with my classmate for an hour on the hurricanes problem, only to find out that we were doing all of the math wrong. What matters is that we arrived at the correct answers eventually. There's something so satisfying about putting in the hours to persevere and finally figuring it out in the end. 

I still had to skip church on Sunday and work non-stop through 1:00am Monday to complete everything, but the sense of accomplishment I feel now that we've gotten our grades back? Priceless.

I would also be remiss to neglect thanking the folks back home who were able to both pray for me and cheer me on from afar. My dad gave me a pep talk on Sunday morning that helped me power through the tears. Shauna Malwae-Tweep, you're my inspiration. 


This week I've spent my free time slowly working through math problems that we work through in class and the problems that are a part of online quizzes we take before class. I get stressed out when I'm in a group of people and everyone seems to be rocketing through questions when I'm still on part (1)(a). I've come to an acceptance that I complete things at slower pace than others, and that's okay. This may come back to haunt me when trying to complete the final exam in the time limit of three hours, but I won't worry about that for now. As Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." He knew what he was talking about!!

In terms of school-life balance, I'm still working on it... I will try and have "fun" this weekend, I guess. Frivolity? Never heard of it!!

Until next time...

Followers