My Top Books of 2011

1. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie
I have been recommending this book to any and everyone possible (Sorry to y'all whom I've been pestering, but seriously, you should check it out!). Absolutely True Diary changed my life. This coming of age first-person narrative of Arnold, a Native American teen, honestly depicts the harshness of reservation life and the pressure to fit in & become "successful" in mainstream white society. It is at times heartbreaking but above all heartFELT and honest. Alexie succeeds in articulating the Native American experience with depth, clarity and a sense of humor. He "gets it." I identified immensely with the protagonist, Arnold, God bless him. Reading this book made me proud to be a person of color and it made me feel so much less alone!! Ugh, this book is just amazing. HEART.

2. Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky
This year I experienced the deepest sense of burnout ever in my life. Social work/justice/ethical living completely overwhelmed me and I was extremely unhappy. Volunteering, being a vegetarian, taking public transit, buying fair trade and doing independent research of domestic & international social problems became a burden of responsibility driven by privileged guilt and most importantly, a sense of duty. It took an especially dramatic panic attack during winter quarter for me to finally snap out of it and realize, "Okay, this isn't working." This past summer I took the first actual vacation from volunteerism in years, read this book and FINALLY started to understand what "self-care" looks like. Lipsky stresses the importance of being gentle on yourself and intentionally seeking out ways to nourish body, mind and soul. I feel so much better nowadays, and don't live with the nagging guilt that I don't "deserve" a break (e.g. an afternoon at the spa, a special drink from a cafe, an expensive @$$ fair-trade candle from Honduras). I'm hanging up my savior-complex role and accepting with utmost relief that there are many, many other people striving for just causes & advocating for the most oppressed, traumatized people in this world. It's not all on my shoulders and I don't have to be "working" 24/7. In fact, through this book I learned that it's essential to limit my involvement in social welfare in order to preserve my sanity for the long haul. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Whew. Thank you, Laura van Dernoot Lipsky! I recommend this book to ALL social workers, nurses, MHPs, activists and "overactive-empathizers," as I like to call them (I am one!!!).

3. An Atlas of Impossible Longing by Anuradha Roy 
I am a sucker for authors with uber-precise, jealousy-inducing prose. Anuradha Roy kills! Her attention to detail, her jarringly realistic, tragic protagonists--incredible! I mean, sure, it's an epic "love story," but Roy manages to effortlessly bypass common cliches and make everything fresh. It follows three generations of the same family, much like Steinbeck's East of Eden, but thankfully, the novel is much less dark and creepy, if you know what I mean. The story just pulls you in. She gets to the heart of what it means to be human: insecurity, ambition, greed, pride. This book is a joy to read.

(re)Discovering My Creative Side, (re)Considering My Vocation

Creativity. Artistry. Imagination. Passion.

I've been reading a memoir by Madeleine L'Engle called Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art. Since entering the School of Social Work, I've been completely consumed with the "immediate reality" of a  broken and suffering world, and have had little time to be creative, imaginitive or artistic. Artistic expression at times seems "impractical" and separate from the real world, but I'm starting to see that to be an artist is to follow a prophetic calling. Sometimes it's only through poetry, a melody, the movement of the human body in dance that the true reality of the human condition surfaces, captivates and inspires.

During this sabbatical I'm really asking myself, "Why am I doing what I am doing?" Is social work really something that I want to do? Am I even enjoying it anymore? 

While I'm at school there's this urgent, almost desperate sense that if we as social workers don't get out there and do something about poverty, oppression, trauma, etc. then the world will end. It's a guilt trip gone horribly wrong. I know that I want to lead a meaningful life, to love as best as I can and "be on the side of the underdog," as it were...but not to the point of utter self-depletion and despair.

What is God calling me to? How can I be faithful to his call? More and more I am beginning to see that he is not asking me to be a super heroic martyr and change millions of lives for the better. I have to trust that the work, the community he sets before in each season of life is exactly where he wants me to be. My worth as a Christ-follower does not come from my "successes" (client or situational "improvement"--i.e. improved test scores, financial stability, liberation/"empowerment"), because so much is out of my control. What counts is the effort and the intention behind the effort, which should always be love: love for God and love for others.

I recently finished up Henri Nouwen's Sabbatical Journey, the journal of his time away from his "work" with the mentally handicapped. He just really brings it all home, back to the heart of things, the heart of Jesus.

"A Democratic senator was pondering how to influence people the most--as a politician who is able to introduce laws that can help millions of people, or as a minister who continues to offer hope and consolation to people in their daily struggle?...

For me it is not a question of how we can most influence others. What matters is our vocation. To what or whom are we called? When we make the effect of our work the criterion of our sense of self, we end up very vulnerable. Both the political and ministerial life can be responses to a call. Both too can be ways to acquire power. The final issue is not the result of our work but the obedience to God's will, as long as we realize the God's will is the expression of God's love" (205).