Lately, I've just been pretty tired and not very motivated. The smallest tasks exhaust me, from going to Thurgood Marshall to reading a journal article for class to spending time with friends to cooking--even spending time in prayer and reading the Bible. It just makes me tired! Like always, I try so hard to keep up but eventually fall behind.
People keep asking me what summer plans are, and to be honest, I think all that I could handle after this ravaging school year is big fat nothing. I feel bad about not having the drive and the energy to pursue a paying job (it would have been the first of my life), but I am seeing that the burn-out within goes very deep.
It's to the point that I actually dread future service (next school year as an intern at ACRS) because it depletes me so much currently. My energy and inspiration tank is running quite low. So this summer I'm moving home with Mom & Dad and will try to observe some semblance of a sabbatical. I feel a bit of a failure for being so weak as to have to come to this point, but I honestly really need some rest.
The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed. (Psalm 103:6)
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart (Isaiah 40:11)
I have to trust that even as I withdraw from "the scene" for awhile, God is at work.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
It's time for me to bow out for a bit. I'm praying for the strength to make it through the rest of this quarter! Panic attack free, plz. :)
Hang in there, Osita! Sleep when you can and give yourself rest which you deeply deserve. Love ya much.
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